Last night I told the girls to go upstairs, get pyjamas on, brush teeth, and put away their clean clothes.

After an hour of listening to their giggling, I went upstairs to check on progress, of which there seemed to be little.

Me: "I told you to do three simple things! Exactly what have you done in the last hour?"

Helen: "I'll give you a clue, Daddy. It starts with an 'N'!"